On an intellectual level, it is possible to know that there is no point in yelling, singing or searching for something, but I find myself constantly doing these things anyway. Before I know it, my mind is back in searching mode, trying to find something new to bring happiness or peace. Trying to find something to stop that, is just more searching, so I guess all I can do is watch it happen and let it have it’s course.
Maybe some day it will just drop away on it’s own, otherwise the search will continue. The frustration comes when I see the searching going on, and then think I should/could stop the search, which is just another search and sometimes it takes a while before I SEE what I’m doing and just relax around it, truly trying to lift myself in my own bootstraps and catching my own tail at the same time.
To an outsider I guess it can look quite funny…
