I have more or less recovered from the flu now. Only small remnants that will eventually go away.
In total I was home from work Thursday and Friday, working a few hours every day. All in all, it wasn’t too bad.
It was some time ago since I last spent four days in a row in my apartment almost without going out. Working Thursday and Friday was rather easy, and by saturday I was feeling quite relaxed, both physically and mentally. When you are sick you are always a bit restless but during saturday I felt a surge of energy come back and I used it to clean the apartment.
I had plans for saturday to go to a concert arranged by Amnesty but thought it was wise to turn it down, allthough I wasn’t feeling too bad. I’m glad I did.
At around eight or nine, I started feeling very good, and I sat down in the chair in the doorway to the balcony and watched the rain falling outside.
Suddenly I felt so relaxed, I had some mellow and nice music on and a strange kind of happiness appeared. With it came the desire to write.
When I woke up Sunday, I had no real plans for the day. I still felt it would be wise to stay inside for most of the day so I continues what had started the night before. Some really nice mellow music (Peter Broderick (the youtube link I sent you) and Efterklang (a danish electronica band).
The music played, I was reading “on the road” by Jack Kerouac and just mooching around the apartment. Candles were lit, some incense was burning.
The hours went by. No rush, just me and everything.
I connected this feeling I had with something I was very familiar with when I was younger, around 16-17 or so. Spending day after day during summer holiday just mooching around, doing whatever I wanted. It was a wonderful feeling. I opened a bottle of wine and had a glass. Somehow everything seemed to be more real. More beautiful. I was dancing around in the living room. The wine tasted more. Every little detail around me was brought to attention. I am alive and in love with life.
Sunday night I went over to Ulrica and watched a few episodes of the TV-series True Blood.
Monday I went back to work, afterwards I went to the rock choir I have joined for the third time and afterwards another episode of True Blood with Ulrica.
Tonight I came home, made some food and now I have already gone to bed, writing, finishing that bottle of wine I opened on Sunday and listening to some music. It is like a great feeling of being alive, adventurous. Enjoying the most simple things in life. Tonight I thought about it, and realized that it is about a week since I finalized my temporary leave with my boss. Maybe it is because of this, finally dropping work and starting to live that brings this feeling about. Or maybe it’s just because that I got to spend quite a few days just on my own.
I remember when I was 18 years old and my mom said that I should get myself a job to make some extra money and I told her, that I value my freedom more than money. I don’t think she will ever understand me when I say something like that, but the happiest times in my life I can remember, are those when I could just waste my time completely, with no goals or a need for results. Me and my mother grew up and live completely different lives in many ways. So does my dad.
I love them both, very much.
