Monthly Archives: March 2009

Some kids…

Some kids are wild, other kids are calm and easy to deal with.
Some of those kids who behave grow up becoming nice, easy going people who do what they are told and conform to the social norm, looking perfectly happy on the inside, yet on the inside being full of fear, terrified of not being loved enough if they for once show any sign of individuality. I see some of them every day on the commute train to work. I ask myself what their lives are like, what turned them into the kind of people who tell their children that you are not supposed to enjoy your work, but get used to it being boring and meaningless. Saying you have to endure this because this is what life is.
Some of these people are my friends. I love them but also know I will never be like them. They probably say the same about me.

Some of these kids grow up, always playing their part in life, not knowing there are any rules or boundaries around them. Because they have never felt the urge to push outwards to see if there is anything out there. Some of these people are my friends too. I love them the same and have probably annoyed them thoroughly trying to show them the chains around their feet that they don’t seem to have. To say the least, they make me confused.

Then you have people like me, who are a slave to the desire of finding freedom. Exploring everything possible to explore, pushing the limits not even knowing what Freedom really is. I do not know where I’m going, only that I have to go. No matter what the price.
I guess I was lucky. Because I never had parents who told me to get used to life. They said, do what you want with life and respected my difference,s my issues and my crazy ideas. There was and is plenty of people around me who tried to tell me how to be, and one of them is myself. This is hard to find out, but my Friends tell me not to be too hard on myself.

This turned out to be quite a different post than first thought of, but all I want to say is this:

Do not be too hard on yourself. All is well.

Sluggish day

Today has been a bit sluggish. Not much work at the moment, even though one of my team members are home sick, and I’m slightly bored at the moment. It’s all ok though.

After work I went for a yoga class, and I have just had tacos and paid my bills. Now I’m going to relax on my nail mat and hopefully drift off to sleep in a not so distant future!

All is well in the Kingdom of Me :)

Corporate Bullshit

Working in the corporate world, you sooner or later are going to ask yourself what is with all these neverending management strategies, leadership practices and company policies.
Every time one change has been allowed to settle down, the next project is started to make the necessary changes to keep up with a transient market.

This question is not only going to become more and more apparent, but it is a very valid question. Do you even see the effects of a change before you have changed it again? How do you know what works or not?
Looking at it like this, it seems rather peculiar doesn’t it?

What if, really, it is not the effects and changes that are interesting or important? What if all these strategies serve another purpose, unknown to most?

I am not telling you about some evil conspiracy by some hidden organisation that has a specific goal. I’m just asking you to ponder this theory:

We live in a world that appears to be changing faster than ever. Every second there is a possibility that something unexpected can happen. In order to survive as a company on this market, you must adapt, change and continously come up with new ideas and ways to reach your customers. It seems that this is vital for survival.
Yet, you never really know what will happen, and therefore you are kind of stumbling your way through the dark. Panic starts to rise. You can feel the fear crawling up your spine.
You must do something! You feel like you are fighting for survival, but you don’t know who the enemy is or what is happening.

Suddenly, a door opens in the distance and a figure appears. It is the Saviour! He walks towards you, and you can barely see because of the bright light that blinds you.
The light diminishes and suddenly this figure takes form. He wears a black Armani suit with shining black shoes and holding a briefcase in his hand. Your Saviour has finally come.

The Management Consultant.

He comes loaded with all these new trendy words and concepts of management strategies, ready to share with you the secrets to survive in this highly competitive world were doom is just waiting around the corner. He teaches you all these new tricks that you devoutly set in to practice. He promises you great returns that you never actually see, but it doesn’t matter, because your work has a purpose, you are putting in great effort and fight off the demons with your new learned tools.
The fight is distracting you so that you do not realize the fact that very little of what you do actually have an effect, and in a way it doesn’t matter, because suddenly you think that you are in control. That this unpredictable world is more predictable. That you are ready to meet the unknown.
This illussion of control, makes you feel a little bit more safe, a little less worried and the dynamics of the trendy creative management consultants and the zealous managers eager to try every new strategy, keeps the world in motion.
Until some evil Lord comes and busts your bubble…

Back from India

I am back home in Stockholm now.
I am slightly depressed from seeing the ground covered with snow, when descending below the clouds close to Bromma Airport. This was not what I had planned. My plan was for spring to have arrived when I got back, but for some reason, my plan has not been acknowledged and taken seriously!

As many times before, it feels good to be home, yet a bit strange. Everything feels new, but is still the same. This 18 day break from work has been good, and although I didn’t look upon returning with too much enthusiasm, when there, it actually felt good.

My apartment is soooo quiet. No sounds from ceiling fans, no traffic, no neighbours shouting, no sparks of electricity from the wires outside the house. Just complete silence. Only sound I heard for almost thirty minutes was someone in the house flushing the toilet.
It is such a big contrast. Like there is no world out there. I am completely isolated, like there is no world out there.

Later in the evening U came around. We both felt nervous at first, but it was so sweet with hugs and kisses and we had lots to talk about. Both about the ups and the downs. It was a good talk.

Ström P2

Photo by: Mattias Ahlm

foto: Mattias Ahlm/SR

On wednesdays at 21.30 (9.30pm) from march 18 and ten weeks ahead, Swedish public service radio-channel P2 will broadcast the show “Ström” (meaning “electricity” or “Flow”).

The show is a collage of voices and electronica music that is mixed together in a long, epic mix. Among sparks and noise there will be interviews with artists such as Jeff Mills, Juan Atkins, Christina Kubisch, Junior Boys och Shinedoe.

Host of the show is Andreas Tilliander. Supported by Mats Almegård, Håkan Lidbo and new member Hanna Österberg. Hanna is a writer and DJ and known under the name Knivflickan.

I haven’t heard any of the previous shows, but if you’re into electronic music I can recommend it. If you are not in Sweden, you can always listen to the webradio at http://www.sr.se/webbradio/

I can also recommend the Junior Boys album “So this is goodbye” mentioned above. :)