Monthly Archives: October 2008

Vurma

Old Town of Stockholm
Old Town of Stockholm

Yesterday I met up U, who was in the city for a seminar, and we walked from Sergells Torg (close to the Central Station, where the major shopping malls are) through Gamla Stan, the Old Town, down to Slussen. There are two places in Stockholm which I consider to be the most beautiful ones. One is the narrow alleys of the Old Town, with buildings still intact from at least the 15th century (the city was founded in the 12th century). The other is the view from the bridges between the Old Town and Södermalm, where if you place yourself in the right place, you can see most of the city. A breathtaking view!
I took some pictures down there, but it was raining and too dark, so they didn’t turn out good. These photos are proffessional ones but look basically the same as mine (with the big difference that they are good :)  )

After about a 25 minute walk we arrived at Slussen (The Sluice) which is at the north part of Södermalm, the South island. From there we took the subway to Hornstull and visited the café Vurma.

Vurma is one of the best cafés in Stockholm that I know of. It is decorated in a 50′s retro style and has the best sandwiches and sallads. When you enter you are met by the words Love & Respect written on the door, and having been there several times, you just have to agree. The atmosphere is great, the staff friendly and the food taste just like Love & Respect.

Me at Vurma
Me at Vurma

We sat there until they closed up, squeezed up in the window on pillows, overlooking Lake Mälaren (which can be seen from most places in Stockholm) and just talking and having a wonderful time, listening to the soft and mellow music of a Singer/Songwriter called M Ward.

Afterwards we took a stroll along Hornsgatan stopping for a coffee and hot chocolate with whipped cream to stay away from the cold and rainy weather.
When we got back to Slussen, we took the subway home to my place.

Blogging and Identity

“U” gave me an article about young peoples increasing use of the internet for media such as blogging and communities and Identification. It was a very interesting article that tied a bit to the things I wrote the other day about Blondinbella. A lot of people, girls especially, write about their lives in a very personal ways, often sharing about their concerns regarding self-esteem. Are they good enough? According to the article some of these girls express a strong identification with their bodies, as it gives the feeling that they can rely on something concrete and “real”, whereas their minds and personality is something that is hard to get hold of, as it appears to be less solid and more changing.

Identification with the body is nothing new, it has been around for ages, but in this information and internet times, it takes on a bit of a different flavour. The old saying that everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame in TV is more and more shifting towards the feeling that if you don’t have a blog or an appearance on the internet, in communitys such as facebook and myspace, your existence is questionable. When your existence is questionable, it is easy to turn to something that you can see, touch, smell and hear.

With the identification with the body, though, there comes a few drawbacks. No matter what you do, you are still faced with the inevitable. Your body is going to die.
Even though some people think they belong to the first generation that will never die, and todays younger generations not only think they will survive forever, but also that they will stay young forever (or at least that is what they try to achieve), we will all die, and the more you identify with the body, the more fearful we get thinking about death and all the things that could happen to us.

Identifying with the mind doesn’t really give us much more comfort. The mind is more or less an extension of the body, but of a more abstract kind, and it is mostly occupied with trying to keep itself alive and real by making you identify with it. In fact, on closer inspection, my personality doesn’t seem to be more than something made up by that very same mind and nowadays, I’m not even sure “I” have a personality. Maybe it is all made up, and if so, Who or What am I?

 

Blondinbella

Picking up one of the free newspapers in the subway today, I read about Blondinbella. She is a soon to be 18 year old girl living in Stockholm, famous for her blogging. She started blogging at age fourteen, writing mainly about politics, and the past years she has become very popular.
Nowadays she writes mostly about doing stuff and fashion, yet she is a huge influence on mostly young women. A couple of weeks ago she decided she needed to take a break from blogging after writing every day since 2005 (despite her dyslexia), and when she stopped, her blogg was the most read in Sweden (and still is).

Blondinbella, or Isabella Löwengrip, as her real name is, is no longer a kid blogging, she is a business. She rakes in more money in advertising than I make in a year and said in the newspapers that she thought her school should pay her some money since she often mentioned it’s name in her blogg.
She is a duracell rabbit with super-powers and the ambitious role-model of every young girl who wants to be Something.
Then she let’s everyone know she needs a break, or ”some time off to learn to breathe again”.

She took two weeks off.
Now she has decided to only blogg between 9 and 5 on weekdays and has decided to turn down job-offers that does no good to her ”brand”.
She said it gave her abstinence to not blogg for the first days, since suddenly she didn’t tell everyone what was going on in her life, and she was also a bit afraid she would feel like a failure for taking a break, but she had to.

It baffles me, and also makes me quite sad to read about her. I bet she is probably a nice girl, but for some reason, she is hardly a human being at all. She is a product, an object, a machine. Without her blogg or her job, she would be nothing. Useless and boring. That is what her blog is about, that is the message between the lines that comes through.
You need to do something, think something, be someone in order to be happy and successful.
This is the message that made her blog the most popular in Sweden.

Weekend

This weekend has come to an end.

I spent saturday night with my friend in front of the computer, drinking a wee bit to much booze, yet having a great time.
We played music, poker and watched things on youtube. We are children of our age, information junkies, getting their fix of instant graification and continious stimulation. The day when my generation wakes up and finds internet and media down, that day will be a day of riots and suicides.
Recently, when I moved to Stockholm, I lived without internet in my apartment for almost a month. I did remarkably well, even finding that I had a lot more time on my hand. Time I normally squander away without noticing it, in front of the computer. Of course, I did have internet at work, and if I really needed too, I could always go out in the stairways and surf on the neighbours wireless, so desparation was never that close to setting in.

I have an hour on the train now from my old town to work. Walking to the trainstation I walked past my old apartment, and realized I didn’t think too much about it. It is no longer my home, Stockholm is my home now. It makes me think about the saying, that home is where your Heart is. My heart is in Stockholm.
The capital of Sweden has taken me in fully, and I like it, from it’s beautiful views, the thick expectations of a good time on a saturday evening in the subway, when everyone is heading out for a party. I even like commuting.

A morning such as this. A monday morning, I know that the moment the train comes into the station, my energy levels will rise almost like you enter a different world. It’s not a new world, it’s the same world, yet you can feel the energy of focused productivity when everyone is heading for work.
No people has embraced the values and ideals of Martin Luther so fully as the Swedish. Conditioned for centuries in effective production of material wealth. And it’s capital is the King of production.
Isn’t it strange, that a man such as myself, so naturally part of all this, yet at the same time feeling so at Home in a country like India. A country in many ways the complete opposite of Sweden?
It is, if nothing else, proof of the flexibility and adjustability of the human race.

Politics

There are two blocks of political parties in Swedish politics. On the ”left” we have the red parties, the left party (former communist party), the socialdemocrats and for the most part the green party. On the ”right” side, we have the blue parties, today calling themselves the ”alliance”; the center party, the peoples party, the christian party and the conservatives. All together seven parties with a varying amount of votes in every election.

For the last 100 years, the Social democrats has ruled the country about 80 of those years, with support mostly from the left party. Alltogether, Swedens has been and stil is a very socialist country, and even though the conservatives call themselves the conservatives, they are probably more left oriented than most conservative parties in America or the rest of Europe. They actually won the last election by re-defining themselves the new labour party.

Since I was young, politics has always interested me, as a way to change a world that obviously needs to be changed. But for the last few years, my views of myself and the world has clearly changed. For me, politics today is more part of a game I no longer find too interesting to play, and mainly the battle ground for two seemlingly opposing beliefs.
The underlying ideology of the left and the right blocks is the beliefs in on the left side security and community and on the other side, the right side individual freedom.
These beliefs is the cause of this war, in that either of these beliefs is held to be the key to creating a society where the people is at there best.

Looking at these two beliefs more closely and how the blocks argue for them, you realize that on the one hand, the cause of security and community is practiced by creating a society with high taxes, a huge welfare-state and strong unions and laws that makes it almost impossible to get fired from your job. You can almost always rely on the government to take care of you if something happens. The government also regulates basically every business so that it will not become greedy but rather help the people.
On the other hand, the cause of individual freedom is practiced by trying to create a society where people pay only for what they use in terms of medical treatment, the government avoids setting to many rules and laws and where business regulate themselves. Government owned companies are sold out so that old monopolies are broken up in favor of an open and free market.

There can be quite strong arguing going on on which of these ”systems” are the best to create the perfect society, but for me, I more and more see them as different sides of the same coin. A battleground between to concepts that on closer inspection show themselves to be illussions of what we call reality.

A couple of years back when I was working for a recycling company, a boy who was working during the summer vacation died in an accident. It was a very tragic death, he got stuck in one of the machines and got squeezed to death. In a society such as Sweden, where the Socialdemocrats has ruled 80 out of a 100 years, the arguments was not ”why did he climb in to the machine in the first place?” but rather who was to blame. Sure, there will always be people blaming others for accidents in this world, and sometimes justified, but what happened to individual responsibility? You do not jump in to a fire just because the government hasn’t told someone to put up a warning sign, do you?
Just because the governemnt form laws and regulations doesn’t mean that things are safe. If you get unemployed it doesn’t mean that it is the obligation of the government to give you money and find you a new job. For some reason, everyone seem to think that it will all be provided for them by someone else.

In the other team in this game, the idea is instead of individual choice. Everyone should be allowed to choose what to do in life, what to spend their money on instead of paying taxes and form their lives in any way they want without the government putting their nose in saying you must do this or that. It is a very nice thought but for some reason, when practiced these choices usually comes down to choosing between two rather meaningless things. You can choose if you want to buy a new car or a nice flat-screen tv, just as long you consume. You can choose how to behave, as long as you do behave. You can choose what you want to work with, as long as you work, and if you choose not to work, you are banished from the holy temple of society and considered crazy.

Both these ideas create illusions of safety and choice, neither of which is truly satisfying. Sure, sometimes it is great that things are regulated (just look at the financial crisis at the moment, mainly cosidered to be caused by greedy unregulated businesses) and I really appreciate all the different things you can do and buy in todays society, since it makes it possible to get the things that suit you. But in the end, having ten different radio stations when they are all playing the same music, or having the possibility to choose from hundreds of different kinds of beers when in the end you are still ”punished” or considered weird for making choices that doesn’t go with the herd.

Liberation is not choosing from products on a ”free” market and safety is not having someone else telling you what is good for you and the rest of the planet. Freedom is something much much deeper. Something totally different. Something we are distracted from looking at because the world we live in dazzles us with it’s apparent variation and order.
This world is included in This. It is part of it, but it is not the whole itself. It is all an illussion, enjoyable, beautiful, wonderful.

Yet, still, only illussion.

Losing my religion

I have just become complete. A complete human being. One with the Universe.
In more concrete words, I have finally added album cover art to every single album in iTunes on my computer. All 688 of them. It has taken hours, but it has finally been done. Now, when I browse through my collection with Cover Flow, I no longer see any blanks.
It has made me complete. The search is over!

Today, getting home from work, I turned my music on, playing randomly from my entire collection. It will take me 25.5 days to play every single song. I’m afraid my neighbours wont like that.

The first song that played was the R.E.M song Losing my Religion, but performed by the Masters of Chant, Gregorian monks.
Whoever got the idea to do that song, in a contemporary blasphemous version has probably been excommunicated from the catholic church and will now burn in hell. So I hope for that guy that he wasn’t a christian :) it is a good song though:

Speaking of Losing my Religion. It is a very interesting topic. Having dabbled in most of them myself, I know what it can mean to ”Loose your religion”, or put in another way, losing your beliefs.
I have always searched for something to believe in, something other than my 688 albums to make me complete. I never found any group or organisation that would fit me, or me it. When I finally found something where I felt like home. I realized that it wasn’t any system of thought, beliefs or structures on which I could lean. It still sometimes make me terrified.
Things would be so much easier if there was any rule, belief, structure or law on which one could lean. Instead I have found myself losing those beliefs I already had and thought was Truth. Having gone from someone who knew a fair deal of useful Truths to someone who shed them one after one, for the benefit of collecting no new ones. My search has been, and continue to be, a path of giving up beliefs, opinions and paths. Standing naked with nothing to lean on, not even a sense of who I really am.

I am becoming less and less. Most days this is actually felt as More.
Some people are happy for grand things in life. I am happy to finally have completed my album collection…