First step

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Every day is a day when you can tell yourself: “Today I will do that which I have always wanted to do”.
Or, it is just another day of all others when you get stuck in front of the tv, wondering why you are bored and lack energy.

But, you do not need energy and inspiration to start living your dream.

You need to live your dream to get energy and inspiration.

When you are complaining about your lack of energy, all you are doing is making up excuses as to not make that first step.

Believe me.

It took me thirty years to take that first step.

A new design

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Last week I finally got down to business to change the layout of this website. Something I have thought about for months and that I intended to do something about when I got back home.
Then you get there and start procrastrinating, finding excuses for why you don’t feel like it right now. And then, nothing gets done.

A new layout is for symbolizing that my journey is over. And the start of another one, the one that starts now and will last the rest of my life.

Gone are the balloons and the clouds, the symbols for a dream coming true.
Now I have a simple, white design, free from distractions that symbolizes focus and simplicity.
An empty space that because of it’s emptiness enhances it’s form.

I’m pretty sure it will change over time, over and over again, but this is a good start.

Cocktails Galore! and the art of doing it your way.

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This friday, I invited a bunch of people over för a cocktail party, and I was pleasantly surprised when fifteen people showed up, mixing cocktails until early morning. In any case, it turned out to be a success, even though I was not sure about that anymore the day after.

Earlier during the day I got a message by a friend, saying she wouldn’t show up. That was sad, of course, but what was different about it, was her honesty, that she didn’t have a “good” excuse not to come, except that she didn’t feel like it.

Isn’t it weird really that we must make up excuses so that we can do what we feel like.

Maybe it is a Swedish thing, that the social pressure is so strong that you have to go if someone invites you. So strong that people make up lies just to get out of it.
I think everyone has done it sometime in life. Told people we are sick, already promised to go somewhere else, broken a leg or just a vague, “I’m already busy”.
Or, even worse, how many times have we not gone to events where we don’t even want to be? Some obscure relatives party, someone we would rather not be in the same room as, the christmas party at work, dinner with the in-laws. And, taking the risk of never getting invited again, I have never understood christenings. Why people want them, or why people want to go to them. It’s not like the babies care, and I don’t need an excuse to eat cake.
If you like these events, sure, it can be nice, but why would you otherwise feel obligated to go?

Instead of just saying. “Hey, I’m not coming”. And leave it at that.

The fact is that sometimes we want to go, but not that day. Maybe we just don’t feel like it. Sometimes it might not be your thing. Sometimes all we want is to sit at home, watching tv in our underwear, not feeling guilty and then having to make up an excuse the next time we meet why we didn’t come.

Even though I wanted my friend to come to my party, her honesty felt great. Because when we are honest, when we are ok with disappointing others. We also give them the freedom to choose themselves. Then maybe they won’t even be disappointed.

Then, maybe, we can have a relationship without expectations and force.

And those kind of relationships, are always a lot better.

So, although it is hard to fully let go of life long conditioning, I think it’s worth the time and effort to notice the expectations and hidden demands we put upon others. Maybe give each other a little bit more space to choose for themselves how they want to spend their time today.